Down on the farm? Nah, just my garage.

I have always said that anything that CAN happen to me/my family WILL. We just seem to have this cloud of chaos hanging over our heads. Not necessarily a "black" cloud because its not all bad chaos. I'd like to think of it as an "interesting" cloud, one that keeps me entertaining at parties with all of my wacky but true stories. So it really should not have come as a surprise yesterday when there was a rooster chilling in my garage window. Yep. A for real rooster.


Walking to the train after work, I get a call from the hubs. I could hear from the tone of his voice that something was up. Me, I would have come out right away with, "Holy sh!t babe, there's a fu*!ing rooster in our fu*!ing garage!" He took the more subtle approach of "remember a few days ago when we heard that really strange sound....well I think it was a rooster. Because there is a rooster in our garage." I thought for sure he had to be crazy. He often gets his farm animals confused so I said "you mean like a duck?" to which he replied "no, like a Kelloggs cereal mascot rooster with the red stuff on top of his head and everything!" Holy sh!t. He then sent me the photographic evidence.

Somehow in his description of Kellogg over the phone, the rooster scoots away to parts unknown. All hubby knows is that he did not exit the garage. Hubby starts banging around trying to spook it out of its hiding place. All of a sudden I hear "There he is! I gotta go!". The line goes dead and I have thoughts of hubs being mauled by Kellog. Oh, the humanity! But what actually happened is hubby got the hose out and tried to H2O him out. Didn't work. Apparently Kellogg wanted a shower and basked in the flow of water. Just when you thought this couldn't possibly be more bizarre.

I suggested perhaps he should call animal control. After all, we don't live on a farm or "the sticks" as they say. Clearly Kellogg must belong to someone (right?). But, to be frank, hubby is not a big fan of animals in general and he just wants to get the thing out of our garage and onto somewhere else. So the next update I get from hubs is that the garage is in utter disarray from his broom-swinging (and successful) attempt to scare Kellog away.

After the dust settled on Kellogg's visit, I have to say I'm a bit worried for the little fella. Where is his home? How will he ever find his way back? But the big question that remains: who the hell is keeping roosters in their fu*!ing yards in Villa Park!? And can I get some eggs please?