Please don't back that footage up! Once is enough!

The industry term for random footage used in the background to tell part of a news story is B-roll. For instance, the news anchor talks about the threat of Asian Carp while shots of lake Michigan roll across the screen. That would be "Lake Michigan B-roll". There are many different kinds of b-roll, but one in particular is actually one of my worst nightmares; "Fat booty B-roll"

We have all seen it. News anchor talks about the new ban on restaurants cooking with trans fats while the viewer is subjected to the sight of the backside of an unfortunate individual whose butt, thighs, hips and legs seem to be one gelatinous blob. The woman who chose to wear leggings that revealed a pool of cottage cheese and other lumps and bumps. The man at the fast food counter who turns to leave with his tray that must be held straight out in front of him to avoid colliding with his massive stomach. Thankfully, they never show the faces of these people. That would be just cruel. But can you imagine sitting at home watching the news going "Hey, I have those pants! Wait a minute, I have that shirt too. Oh. My. God"

It makes me wonder, too, about the conversation between cameraman and producer while out in the field trying to capture said "fat booty B-roll". Does the producer actually get giddy and shout "Look Frank! There's one over there! The one in the XXXXL orange drape on who can't fit into the car". Do they have to stealthily navigate Michigan Avenue capturing every thigh that rubs together without being noticed? I mean really, how does this cruel procedure go down?

While I am not presently a candidate for this type of recording, the thought that I could one day spot my outfit on the nightly news is a recurring nightmare of mine. And I don't just worry about myself. If I saw a friend, family member, or co-worker I would be equally embarrassed. Okay maybe not family member since I don't like most of them anyway. But oh the horror if it was someone I cared about! People find motivation to stay in shape for many different reasons. Me, I would rather be on the news for committing a heinous crime than for my cottage cheese butt. Treadmill, here I come!